An actual update

Hello everyone.

Long time no post, but I’m pleased to be able to say that I’m doing… pretty ok, actually. I still have the odd bad day but no, things are good. I’m back down to the lowest dosage of my mirtazapine, propranolol is now only 10mg as and when needed and I’m completely off the zopiclone.

I started a new job in June and it’s going really well. I’m a ‘general services clerk’ for a local electrical engineering company supporting facilities/premises, finance and legal. It’s mostly just raising purchase orders, placing orders and sorting post but I’m really enjoying it. It’s 08:00-16:30 Mon-Thurs and 08:00-15:30 on a Friday, and it’s only a 15-20 minute drive from home, depending on traffic. It’s a temp job but the contract keeps being rolled over because the company has a recruitment freeze on… currently my contract is til the end of the year.
I’m not overly fond of the girls in the office – very bitchy – but I’m still in touch with the girls (and Minion from IRW.

I’m currently dorking out obsessively over bulletjournals and planners. I can spend hours watching #planwithme videos on youtube, I find them really relaxing – almost as much fun as actually doing it myself!

And in 10 days and 18 hours, I get on a plane that takes me to San Francisco for 2016’s shenanigans 😀

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100 Things That Make Me Happy

As part of my 101 Things In 1001 Days I set out to write a list of 100 Things That Make Me Happy.

It took me something like 2 months to compile the list and I was mindful to try to make sure it wasn’t just fandom related – that it was very well-rounded and covered a variety of things that I enjoy.

If I’m honest, It was actually a lot harder to do than anticipated. I don’t know if that’s just because of how down I’ve been over the last 6 months or so. At the same time, though, writing it and re-reading it has been a pretty good form of therapy. Reminding me of little things that make me smile – and nudging me to go and do some of them.

Anything than involves happiness is never a bad thing, right?

So here is 100 things that make Cassie happy
1. Going to bed and knowing I don’t have an alarm set in the morning
2. Having a hot bath, putting on warm & clean pjs and getting into a freshly made bed with clean bedding
3. Getting a forward-facing window seat with a table on the train to work
4. Getting any seat on the train home from work
5. My Natalie
6. My Dragon
7. Stargate SG1
8. Stargate Atlantis
9. Star Wars
10. TLOR gigs
Read More »

A desperate plea for help

As many of you know, I have struggled with depression for somewhere in the region of 20 years, and have had a bad run of it over the last couple of months since my mum died. This culminated in a suicide attempt at the beginning of February.

My doctor has kept me signed off work since, and I’ve returned to work this week.

I’ve had an email today from my HR department advising me that I won’t be getting paid for the 5 weeks I’ve been off and they will be deducting £1800 from my wages. This is more than my actual months wages and they will be splitting it over 2 months, deducting £867 gross from my March and April salaries.

This leaves me completely unable to pay my rent, my bills or even get to work. My monthly salary is £1572 gross so taking off the £867 leaves me with £705.50 gross – or about £550 after tax

My basic monthly outgoings come to £950ish a month.

You can see how the maths there doesn’t add up!

As you can imagine, I’m having epic panic right now. I’m trying to get hold of Citizens Advice to find out what options are available to me but I honestly don’t know how I’m going to manage.

Please, please, if you’re able to help, every penny is appreciated like you would not believe. I’ve set up a gofundme at https://www.gofundme.com/d3utncj2 because I literally don’t know what else to do

Thank you ❤

A Day In The Life – February 10 2016

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A Day in the Life is a monthly link up run by Georgie. To take part in the linkup, bloggers document their daily life on a designated day each month to show what a typical day is like, using the prompts/theme provided

What did I wear today? I am wearing blue jeans, a long-sleeve plain grey shirt, a Bon Jovi Forever t-shirt from the 2000 European Crush Tour – I saw them in Stoke, in case you were wondering, and it was my first Bon Jovi concert. Obviously underwear, bra and socks too
I’m thinking about putting on a sweater, cos I’m getting chilly, and the one on the back of the couch is an old blue Nike one.

What made I laugh? Talking to Dragon on the phone this morning, telling her about my dream. It was so very bizarre, involving going for a Starbucks with Jim Beaver because he missed seeing me at Asylum conventions. At Starbucks we met up with Torri Higginson and Dragon spent ages trying to tell her who Jim was. The dream then switched to a Stargate convention which was at an ice-rink. We found our seats and then Joe Flanigan & Michaels Shanks were doing some kind of… routine. Yeah.. I don’t know, but it was hysterical talking about it

TIL (Today I Learned) I’m missing an awful lot of drama/excitement at work this week. Apparently our head of the board of trustees is in critical condition in hospital after a heart attack, and that there was also a fatal shooting just outside the building. It’s not known if that’s because of the nature of the organisation or not.
I think I’m quite glad I’m signed off sick this week and safely under my blankie on my couch!

The weather It’s been grey and gloomy all day, raining off and on. It’s not been as chilly as it has been and the wind has dropped, so that’s good 🙂

Four people that I encountered in my day
Dragon I already mentioned I was on the phone to Dragon this morning, talking about dreams and conventions and nothing and everything. She cheered me up this morning when I was still feeling quite low and fatigued. Only a few short weeks til I head down south and spend a week with her going to some gigs. Can’t wait!

Natalie Seems my Natalie went and published a book yesterday. I’ll share a link once it’s available on amazon, should be there by the end of the week. But she’s my BFF and we talk pretty much all afternoon/evening (my time zone) on gchat. She’s not been around as much as normal today cos she’s off doing pre-employment stuff for her new job!

Geek Director Also known as the HR Director in work. One of the few people who know the real reason I’m off sick, and that’s just because of his role. He’s been texting me, just checking in on me, and we’ve been sharing excitement about the Deadpool movie.

Felicity Smoak No, really, can I have a Felicity of my very own? I’ve been doing a little catch up of Arrow today, attention span witholding. I’m about 1/3 of the way through Season 3 and no, really, I completely and utterly adore Felicity. She’s easily my favourite character on the show. I really do have a thing for the socially-awkward geek character – pick any show and there’s a 99% change that will be my favourite character.