The current state of the Llama

I guess I should probably make my… uh.. monthly update. I really do intend to update more but I don’t really have anything to talk about.

I’m undergoing CBT – cognitive behavioural therapy – for my depression, low self-esteem, anxiety and panic attacks. Part of me thinks its a big pile of hippy mumbo-jumbo bullshit but the other part of me thinks this therapy is a really good idea and I can see how it would help.

I’m still on the 40mg of Citalopram. My sicknote runs out this week but I have another appointment with the doctor tomorrow. I personally would prefer him to sign me off again. Yes, I’m a LOT better than I was a month ago but I still have panic attacks going to ASDA… so I don’t think I’m quite up to looking for work just yet.
Which sucks because I’m starting to get bored but what can I do?

Although, to be fair, I have been keeping occupied. I’ve been marathoning CSI. The Las Vegas one.
I want to be Grissom when I grow up. I want to fuck Sara senseless. I want a pet Greg. And Nick’s voice does things that make my insides tingly.

Oh, speaking of all things tingly… I’ve met a girl. Her name’s Lizzie. She’s intelligent, funny, plain-speaking, beautiful. And the sex is fucking amazing.
There also seems to be a correllation between getting laid and writing fic because I’ve been writing shit loads again. I signed up for a number of the bingo cards on livejournal: hurt/comfort, kisses, schmoop and kink. They really seem to have kick started my muse. It’s just a shame I really should be writing my Werewolf Big Bang.

Hmm… that’s a point. Maybe I should add a fanfiction page to the site. Add my new fics to it. That’ll keep me out of mischief, doing that. Yeah, think I wil.

What else have I been up to?
I’ve looked at a couple of places to rent. Just waiting to hear back from landlords.
I’m all signed up for my university course: A BA(Honours) in Humanities with Creative Writing and Classical Studies. I REALLY wanted to do Classical Studies & The History Of Science, Medicine & Technology but they’ve stopped doing all teh science/medicine/technology courses which makes me a sad llama

That;s about it from the land of the llama
I shall try to update a little more often in future. No, really!

And that was Saturday.

My face is still swollen but I look much more like a llama than a freaking hamster. I’m not impressed with the bruising around my lip and the corner of my mouth but what can you do? The wound itself is healing nicely. The anti-biotics are EVIL – they’re big, powdery and you can feel them going all the way down. BLECH

I had to call in sick again and well, when I was ringing them, THEY kept asking me to repeat myself because they couldn’t understand me. Yeah, definitely think that was the right move heh. It’s eased up a lot through the course of the day and so long as I don’t laugh or sneeze it’s not too bad.
I do, however, seem to have developed a rather amusing lisp. Although I don’t think it’s going to be amusing for much longer so I’m hoping my tongue stops finding the gap because… yeah

I didn’t really do much today. Caught on up on TV shows. Flailed lots over Bones. Love Garcia in Criminal Minds. Wanna hug the NCIS LA crew. Just got two episodes of NCIS to watch and I’m up to date.

I also stripped and remade my bed, which you really don’t give a shit about. But I’m high on painkillers so I’m just gonna type whatever comes into my head. And I rejigged my to-read pile
as all the new books I got from readitswapit were screwing my pile up. Not that I have a system or anything but the piles were all wonky and it was bugging me.

I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately. Mainly because I haven’t been wanting to be online. Partially I think as like a people detox after Asylum but also because I don’t know if it’s just me having anxiety issues but I feel like shit’s getting weird and I don’t want it to be and I don’t know if its just me so I’m being an… is it an ostrich that buries their head in the sand? I’m not sure but that’s what I’m doing – ignoring shit and losing myself in Poppy Z Brite’s books. Did I already say that recently? Not sure but oh I am and loving Rickey and G-Man… almost as much as I love Steve & Ghost which seriously should tell you something!

Lois brought the baby round. Luckily it didn’t scream or anything. Connor still plays with anything and is still fascinated by my tweety pir. And apparently whenver Jasmine makes any sound, Connor pokes her *giggles* This amuses me.

The one productive thing I did do today was fill out all the paperwork for OU. I filled in and mailed back the Access To Learning form. I filled out all eleven billion pages of the financial aid form – all I need from there is a copy of my passport verifying and I’m seeing my doctor and my counsellor on the 3rd June so I’ll get that done then. I also need a letter from my doctor for the Disabled Students Allowance application.

Think that’s about it for me. Time to carry on watching NCIS!

Gives You Hell

Good morning internet and how are we all on this lovely Friday morning? Me, I’m hopped up to my eyeballs on painkillers and floating nicely. I can barely move my jaw, can only just talk, my entire side of face is swollen. It’s a classy look. I’m surprised I don’t have a black eye!

I’ve had to call into work sick due to the whole… not being able to move my mouth to talk thing. Well, I rang to ask if I could spend the day on AQs and was told no, so

The last of my financial aid application paperwork came today – another few trees killed for that. Guess I know how I’ll be spending my Saturday. What fun!

I have however managed to find a local dentist that is taking on NHS patients and registered with them. I have an appointment on June 24th. Gives me a nice month or so to stress the fuck out over it! Not fun.

That’s about it from the land of llama.I’m not quite sure what I’ve managed to do to this layout though. Think I’m gonna have to spend a little time fixing that up. *sigh* When really, all I want to do is to curl up and read. I’ve found myself in love with Poppy Z Brite’s books again. Still. Yeah. I’ve just read The Value Of X and picked up Liquor. Oh, and ordered Prime for when I’ve finished that. Will order Soul Kitchen when I get paid too so I can carry on reading the series.
So. Much. Love.