Well, hello there 2011

Having stopped and thought about it, a few major financial and health issues aside, 2010 was actually a pretty good year. It was the year of the ITBN! There were amazing conventions, fantastic concerts and even better friends. I moved back out of my mum’s house, and am getting on with much better again as a result. I lost weight. I came off the anti-depressants, I realised I don’t want to be dead and think I may have won this battle in the war against depression. I don’t feel guilty for feeling happy.

2011 started off having fun with friends, and I think that’s what I like the year to be about. Good times with good people… you can’t go wrong with that. And really, since it’s only like 2 hours to Louise’s and 3 hours to Susan’s, there’s no excuse!
I’m seeing Good Charlotte in February. I’d like to go to more concerts because it’s been far too long since I’ve been to any recently and I fuckin’ miss it!
There’s A6 and A7. There’s T2. There’s Con 1. Depending on guests, there’s Vampire Ball 2 and Roadhouse 2.

I’m starting the year with a better paid job, a 12 week contract, that’s closer to home and better paid.
I want to get my bookshelves moved to my place. This is my priority. I miss my books.
I want to get a cheap two-seater sofa, put it where my desk is, then turn my TV round so I don’t sit in bed all the time.
That looks and sounds like a plan. I approve

The current state of the Llama

I guess I should probably make my… uh.. monthly update. I really do intend to update more but I don’t really have anything to talk about.

I’m undergoing CBT – cognitive behavioural therapy – for my depression, low self-esteem, anxiety and panic attacks. Part of me thinks its a big pile of hippy mumbo-jumbo bullshit but the other part of me thinks this therapy is a really good idea and I can see how it would help.

I’m still on the 40mg of Citalopram. My sicknote runs out this week but I have another appointment with the doctor tomorrow. I personally would prefer him to sign me off again. Yes, I’m a LOT better than I was a month ago but I still have panic attacks going to ASDA… so I don’t think I’m quite up to looking for work just yet.
Which sucks because I’m starting to get bored but what can I do?

Although, to be fair, I have been keeping occupied. I’ve been marathoning CSI. The Las Vegas one.
I want to be Grissom when I grow up. I want to fuck Sara senseless. I want a pet Greg. And Nick’s voice does things that make my insides tingly.

Oh, speaking of all things tingly… I’ve met a girl. Her name’s Lizzie. She’s intelligent, funny, plain-speaking, beautiful. And the sex is fucking amazing.
There also seems to be a correllation between getting laid and writing fic because I’ve been writing shit loads again. I signed up for a number of the bingo cards on livejournal: hurt/comfort, kisses, schmoop and kink. They really seem to have kick started my muse. It’s just a shame I really should be writing my Werewolf Big Bang.

Hmm… that’s a point. Maybe I should add a fanfiction page to the site. Add my new fics to it. That’ll keep me out of mischief, doing that. Yeah, think I wil.

What else have I been up to?
I’ve looked at a couple of places to rent. Just waiting to hear back from landlords.
I’m all signed up for my university course: A BA(Honours) in Humanities with Creative Writing and Classical Studies. I REALLY wanted to do Classical Studies & The History Of Science, Medicine & Technology but they’ve stopped doing all teh science/medicine/technology courses which makes me a sad llama

That;s about it from the land of the llama
I shall try to update a little more often in future. No, really!

Of flats & naive llamas

The flat I went to see yesterday was fucking perfect. Really good location, just the right level of partially furnished and pretty much perfect sized for a llama.

However, my… hmm… naivety of the rental process was less than perfect. Because yes, the deposit was only one and a half month’s rent, which I have, they also wanted the first months rent AND £170 administration fees. Which I don’t have. When I sat down and worked it out, I basically have to have £1000 cold hard cash behind me before I even start to think about moving out. Or, to put it another way, that’s more money than I physically bring home every month. That’s more than two months worth of full bills inc rent would be.

It’s no wonder people can’t afford to move out.

Also, my mum and I sat and worked out all the things I actually need to buy before moving into a partially-furnished. My deal breakers are that it has to have parking, a fridge(/freezer) and an oven. So we worked out what I’ve got, what she’ll give me and what I need to buy.

Taking this into consideration, I’m now not going to see Nicole in September *is VERY sad* because I’m literally going to be putting every spare penny I have into savings over the next couple of months with an aim to move out once I’m paid in July. So aiming to move probably the August bank holiday weekend.

When I get paid this month however, I’m taking that ‘savings’ money and going shopping. Microwave, vacuum cleaner etc etc.

*insert big sigh here*

That was the week that was…

It’s now Sunday. Tomorrow – Monday – is the first day of the rest of my life, or at least I really hope it is. It’s the first day of my new – real, permanent, non-temporary – job as a Customer Services Advisor for Severn Trent Water. Which, actually, is incredibly scary because of the whole ‘not finance’ thing… I’ve never worked customer services in my life, I’m a finance admin/purchase ledger kinda gal and… yeah, new challenges, old skills/new situations is all good but right now, I’m just bricking myself!

The weeklong joke about going back to work for a rest has continued though. I’m exhausted. I swear I am not getting out of bed until my alarm clock goes off at 07:30 tomorrow.

Tuesday started off quite well. I had my big box of crap and I had my shredder. Only, whoops, I managed to… uh… break the shredder. Which started off a slight manic-headed hunt for a new one. Found a nice, affordable, one in Argos in the end, a confetti one so things are really shredded nicely.
Spent a good couple hours having FAR too much shredding… until I ran out of carrier bags to put the shredded paper in. I still had another box to go. I am such a freaking hoarder its untrue *hangs head*

Took mum out to the hospital for her appointment at the audiology clinic. She had lots of hearing tests, and got fitted for a digital hearing aid for her left ear. We’ve gotta go back in 6 weeks to have it fitted etc

Went to the tip on the way back from the hospital. Took the now-dead shredder out, plus finally managed to get rid of Starduck too.

Came home, intent on curling up on the couch and either listening to music and reading, or playing 4elements for an hour or so and… no, I get a phonecall from Matthew at discountbedsdirect because beds are flying out like no-ones business at the moment and he can’t actually get me the frame I’d chosen. Chatting to him on the phone, he finally manages to source me one of the alternate frames – that I actually like more than the one I originally chose – and its coming to me from freaking BELFAST and being delivered between the 14-20th (ie the back end of next week).

Wednesday was spent doing more shredding – all done now, listing crap on ebay (made like £20!), getting new glasses and taking mum to the bank cos she didn’t recognise a transaction on her bank statement.
Oh, and boxing all my CDs back up because the CD unit won’t fit in my room when a double bed is in there.

Thursday involved getting medical clearance to start my new job, plus a trip out to Birmingham to sign the last few pieces of paperwork for said job.

Friday was basically spent being an utter lovesick fool because Nicole has gone to Wincon for the weekend in Denver.
Oh, and doing a test run out to Shelton in rush-hour traffic to say how long it took – and it was only 5 minutes longer than non-rush-hour so that’s pretty damn cool.
Moved the multimedia unit downstairs and got my DVDs on it. (boxes containing CDs will be going under new bed when it arrives)
Taken apart the spare bed, shifted it downstairs and contacted the council who are collecting in on Tuesday.
Bought a new bookshelf
And organised a payment plan with the last of my creditors

Saturday was spent basically collecting and building the bookshelf.

Now, I just have to wait until next week when the bed is delivered.
And payday, when I can buy some cork boards to put all my tickets/pictures/set lists/drumsticks/guitar plecs etc etc up on my wall.

It’s all coming together – slowly but brilliantly – so yeah, I really am just staying here in my nice warm comfortable bed for the rest of the day… moving only for food and bathroom breaks LOL