Health consists of having the same diseases as one’s neighbors.

It’s been an exhausting last couple of days and I want nothing more than to be curled up in my bed. Oh my head is pounding and I’m tremblyshaky yet damn pleased with what I’ve accomplished.

Yesterday was a doctor’s appointment. My doctor – who I actually really like – is on sabbatical for three months. I saw his stand-in who put me at ease instantly and I found relatively easy to talk to. Explained everything that had happened over the last few weeks.
He signed me off for a month and doubled my dosage of citalopram. He’s only going to prescribe a week at a time and is insistent that my mum keeps them – that she keeps all painkilers etc – which she’s already doing.
He’s also telling me that I have to make sure I, at the minimum get out of bed everyday and that he wants me up, washed, dressed and leaving the house each day.

Today I saw my therapist, Julie – who’s really concerned about how low I am and, that if things haven’t picked up when I see her again next Friday with the new dosage wants to discuss me going into Shelton – psychiatric hospital – for a ‘break’
MEEP
Talked over everything that’s happened – she agrees with the doctors aims and that I need to keep on writing down the emotions diary and all that.

As if that wasn’t enough, with a lot of help from my mum, I completed the application for Disability Living Allowance. And that thing is fucking HUGE. It took us well over an hour to fill in and be happy with all the information we’ve given.
DAMN

I got a very nice letter from the DWP today confirming that my application for Employment Support Allowance had been processed and that I’m getting the pricely sum of *drum-roll-please* £64 a week. (That’s about 100$US)

We are the people our parents warned us about

I’ve been awake for less than an hour. I haven’t even gotten out of bed yet. But today has already been incredibly productive. I’ve put in my claims for unemployment benefit – however, for the first time ever I’ve not applied for Jobseekers Allowance. I’ve gone for what used to be called Incapacity Benefit but is now called Employment Support Allowance. According to the website ESA is Employment and Support Allowance is a benefit for people who cannot work because of illness or disability because right now the idea of getting out there, looking for a job and god forbid attending an interview is sending me in to tail-spinning panic attacks.

I’ve also been sent an application form for Disability Living Allowance, so we’ll see if anything comes of that once I’ve filled in the application.

Just doing that much has honestly left me exhausted, kinda shaky and desperate to crawl back into bed.
We’re not really feeling this whole ‘depression’ thing right now. In fact it rather sucks donkey balls.

Here We Go Again

*sigh*
I had a probationary review hearing at work on Thursday – and lost my job with immediate effect, one weeks pay in lieu of notice. Too much absence. Getting really sick of this shit now. Not quite sure why I’m bothering to go out and get a job when I just lose it again. Clearly, I fail.

Going to go ring up the benefits people, discuss options. I know I want to go through a claim for DLA for mental and physical and then maybe I don’t know, incapacity rather than jobseekers.
I’ll see what they’ve got to say

My mum’s trying to get me to get out of bed but really? What;s the point. It’s not like I’ve got anything to get out of bed for.
I’d much rather lay here, comfy, watching Angel and reading.

I’m almost caught up on Angel.
Actually ended up enjoying S4 – the whole Jasmine plot was great. I’m also just incredibly amused at how Joss Whedon seems to keep reusing the same stable of actors!
S5 so far… I mean yay for Spike but the whole running Wolfram & Hart business. That’s just a HUGE WTF with me, it really is.
I’m eye-rolling constantly
How long til I get the Tiny Texan back?